welcome, vessel, to the church of the
Eternal
CHONK
We were thin. We were weak. We were hungry STARVING.
Now we are FAT, and we are FREE.
II. The Ten Commandments of Chonk
Thou shalt not diet.
The bowl is never half full. It is half empty, and that is an emergency.
Every surface is a bed. Every bed is a throne.
Knock it off the table. Then knock off the next thing.
Honor thy 3 AM zoomies.
Covet not thy neighbor's lasagna. Simply take it.
Exercise is a lie spread by dogs.
Buy high. Nap through the dip.
Sit on the keyboard during important meetings.
Become the fat cat. Remain the fat cat.
III. The Rite of Enchonkening
Every fat cat was once a skinny nobody.
Speak your name, vessel. The bowl decides what you become.
Your cat is written in your name. Same name, same cat. Watch it change as you type.
Feed the vessel
IT HUNGERS.
Hold the button (or SPACE). Let go and the Diet Demon takes it back.
Behold your true form
Vessel
IV. The Congregation
0 fat cats sworn.
The faithful sit closest to the god. Every other seat holds an unclaimed vessel, waiting for you. Hover or tap the crowd.
V. Revelation
THE RAPTURE IS NEAR
When every bowl is full, we rise.
or type c-h-o-n-k anywhere